The Suicide Chronicles
by Halatia Artemis Louise Potter
Summary: A series of oneshots about the angst the HP characters have gone through. Includes character death, cutting, and suicidal thoughts. Story is AU after GoF! RR!
1. Drowning Inside

**Title:** Drowning Inside

**Author:** Halatia Potter

**Summary:** Harry has been betrayed. Can he survive himself?

**Rating:** PG-13 for suicidal thoughts and character death

**Warnings:** Character death, major angst.

**Date:** 9-10-05

**Disclaimer:** Do you really think that if I owned them that I'd be sitting at a computer writing this completely angsty song-fic? I'm a jobless 20-year-old! Come on people! 'Nuff said!

**Quote of the Day:** "Pits. You can make them or fall into them. Some people are stupid enough to do both." --Moon-Shadow

**A/N:** Well, this is my first song-fic, so if it totally crashes and burns, tell me, and I'll never attempt to write this kind of fic ever again. This fic WILL be total angst, so if you don't like reading about depression and suicide, don't read this fic. You have been warned. The song for this chapter is none other than Evanescence's "Going Under." Also, I might do another chapter or more, and I might not. It all depends on the reviews. So, without further ado, the fic.

_**Drowning Inside**_

_Now I will tell you want I've done for you._

_Fifty-thousand tears I've cried._

One Harry Potter sang the familiar muggle song as the Aurors dragged him off to Azkaban for killing Tom Riddle. What most people didn't know was that Tom Riddle _was_ Lord Voldemort. Even Dumbledore's word hadn't swayed the Ministry's decision in the matter. After all Harry had done to protect and finally save the wizarding world, they were throwing him away for doing just that. He had lost friends and family during the long war, and no one had consoled him. They were merely getting rid of him; getting rid of that which reminded them of the Dark Lord's reign.

_Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you._

_And you still won't hear me._

As his mother's voice started screaming in his head, he tried once again to explain his innocence. He had joined Voldemort, sure, but for everyone's own good. The entire time he was in the Dark Lord's fold, he had been cutting. Only Professor Snape's support kept him from cutting too deep and leaving forever, forsaking the world that was doing the same to him. Still, after he had silled his heart, he was dragged to his cell in Azkaban.

_Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself._

_Maybe I'll wake up for once._

_Not tormented daily; defeated by you._

_Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom._

_I'm dying again._

A week after his first day in Azkaban, Professor Albus Dumbledore came into a blurry focus for Harry.

"We'll get you out of here, Harry," the old man told him. "I promise."

Harry struggled to get the words he wanted said out. "Don't," he croaked at last. "Tell Draco…tell him I'm sorry." Dumbledore left without another glance back, shaking his head in defeat.

_I'm going under;_

_Drowning in you._

_I'm falling forever._

_I've got to break through._

_I'm going under._

Days later found Harry frantically punching and digging at the walls of his cell. Suddenly, he stopped, picking up a sharp piece of concrete that had finally broken off. It was time to break through his mother's voice to the pain he wanted to feel. He dragged the jagged stone hard across his left wrist, and then his right, relishing in his reprieve. As his blood flow slowed and then stopped, his last thoughts were very happy: he was free.

_I'm going under;_

_Drowning in you._

_I'm falling forever._

_I've got to break through._

_I'm going under._

_**The end.**_

**A/N:** Well, there it is. Hey! Stop throwing-Ack! Okay, okay! I get it! It sucked! **ducks flying cabbage** Flame me then! Please don't pelt me with vegetables! **sees crowd leaving** Don't go! Review! I promise my other stories are better. For instance, no one dies in the story I'm currently writing. I'm not sure what I'll call it yet, though, so don't ask. Review and tell me what you thought. (Honesty is rewarded and flames get posted on my bulletin board at work.)


	2. Not Quite Lost

**Title:** Not Quite Lost

**Author:** Halatia Artemis Louise Potter-Black-Snape-Dumbledore

**Rating:** PG

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all related material belong to JK Rowling, Warner Bros. and their affiliates.

**Quote of the Day:** "Freak is a five letter word for that which you are afraid you are." --Moon-Shadow

**Review Responses:**

_**BlendedFrog:**_ I did know that. Apparently my brain went on a hike while I was writing that part of the chapter. I was kind of in an emotionless state when I wrote it, and I think you feel much more from this chapter than the last one. To be honest, I've been diagnosed with depression, and when you're that depressed, you are emotionless. So that part was kind of intentional. Thanks for the review. I hope you like this next installment.

**A/N:** I actually wrote this chapter long before I thought anyone would like the first one or even review. I'm very happy with getting even one review, and so I am posting this chapter already. This chapter will have more implied Harry/Draco slash. I am hoping to have the Harry/Draco story that I've been writing alongside this out soon, however, my fingers are not crossed. I've been sick lately, and sickness just doesn't add up to brain waves, much less inspiration. So don't hold your breath hoping it'll come out next week. I'm not even ready to send it to a beta next week. The song for this chapter is "Hello" by Evanescence. This chapter will be fairly mild. On with the warning, and then to the story.

**_WARNING:_** There will be implied slash in this chapter, and probably from now on in the story. Or until I kill Draco off. Which might never happen if I don't get more reviews.

**Not Quite Lost**

Draco Malfoy wandered the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A raven swooped down on him, filling him with dread. There was only one reason a raven would be carrying a letter for him: someone had died. The raven dropped the letter into his hands and swiftly soared away.

_Playground, school bell rings, again._

_Rain clouds come to play, again._

Draco stormed into the Headmaster's office, clearly distraught. Tears were streaming down his face, and a crumpled letter was clutched in his hand. He silently handed this item over to the Headmaster to read.

Mr. Potter-Malfoy,

It is with deepest condolences that we must inform you of your husband's demise. As Mr. Harry James Potter-Malfoy had been sentenced to life in Azkaban, his will has become void, and as next of kin, you are awarded all of his worldly possessions.

Sincerely,

_Anna Conton_

Dept. of Wizard Relations

_Has no one told you he's not breathing?_

_Hello, I'm your mind,_

_Giving you someone to talk to._

_Hello._

Draco Potter-Malfoy refused to believe it. He was scaring his friends and students. No matter what anyone said abut Harry's death, he laughed it off. Nothing anyone said did any good.

If I smile and don't believe,

Soon I know I'll wake from this dream.

"Draco," Albus kindly said. "I've arranged for a counselor from St. Mungo's to come talk to you, my boy. Your classes have been divided amongst the other teachers until you are well again."

"I am fine!"

"Draco, you have been yelling at anyone who talks to you. You're pulling into yourself. You can't keep on like this!"

"Keep your meddling ways to yourself, old man. I AM FINE! I'll keep on however I see fit," Draco snapped. He was already turning back into the Draco Malfoy before Harry Potter.

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken._

_Hello, I'm the lie,_

_Living for you so you can hide._

_Don't cry._

Draco sat in his room, fingering the bonding ring that Harry had given him. He could no longer sense Harry. What people had been saying since he received the letter flashed through his mind. He was truly gone. His love had finally left him, as he had expected to do in battle. Draco burst into tears, his couch, where they had been discussing an intervention to get Draco to a counselor. Draco Potter-Malfoy had returned, but it would be a long time before he was back to normal.

_Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping._

_Hello, I'm still here,_

_All that's left of yesterday._

**A/N:** Well? Good? Bad? Better at least? Review and let me know. If this chapter sucks, flame me. Although, those reviews will be copied and passed around the retail store I work at. So leave a review, and don't be afraid to flame. The more flames, the less likely I'll be to write another one.


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